This is a tale of how I became the drug dealer to the stars of kitty land.
Take one craft fuzzy pipe cleaner, bend it around your finger and make a spring. Insert into bag of catnip. Shaken, not stirred. Remeber to crush the catnip beforehand to release the oils.
Take the new “toy” and plant it near someone you want to annoy. Like a swarm of bees, they will go nuts on whoever to placed it near. 20 mins later they will be in a catnip coma! And they stop bothering me!
One problem though, now they come to me all the time with that meow and “Yo man, I need my fix.”
I are Tucky Wucky. I R be starving. Please click my ads so I can eat real cat food and no left to fend on my own murdering mice at my family barn. Contrary to popular thought, Mice are gamey. They are rodents. I proudly bring you a dead rat that was eating the family grain from the barn, drop it at your feet and you reward me with a giant “EWWWWWWW”. I work hard, give me some catnip and a can of fillet-o-whatever. I swear, you ungrateful humans….Feed me. Real food. I’m not a feral cat. I am domesticated.
Well, here he is, the majestic cat we all call Tuck. Dumb as a box of rocks but we all love him anyways. The dark one is Angel. She is evil. Sneaks around waiting to be cute and purring around your feet while secretly trying to trip you up to your death in the dark of night as you try to use the bathroom.